The question, "Should a couple stay together for the sake of their children" is answered differently today from what it was 40 years ago. In the 1950's opinions were evenly divided on the question but by the year 1985 over 80 percent of the women polled said "yes" a couple should stay together for the sake of the children. Today we appear to be more aware of the necessity of keeping families together for the sake of the children. Only in rare cases should a married couple consider breaking up their home and depriving their children of a full time mother or father.
The need for a mother is well established in our culture ,but fathers in recent years have often been considered unnecessary. If anyone ever doubted the worth of a father they can be reassured by recent studies. If more couples were aware of the father's influence in the home perhaps the trend toward fatherless families could be reversed.
Several of the findings were not surprising such as the fact that there is more income and a better standard of living when the father is present.
Here are some things that were not quite so predictable:
He is a calming influence. When dad is in the home there are fewer conflicts and less physical abuse. His calming influence normally produces a family environment in which children feel safe. They talk freely, laugh more, and very few ever run away.
Dad sets the limits. Because of his influence teens are less apt to use drugs or alcohol, less likely to engage in sex before marriage, and the sons are less inclined to commit crimes.
Dad encourages moral and emotional stability. Daughter from two parent families relate to men on a mature basis because they have learned from their fathers self respect. These fortunate young people are also successful in school and in their vocations.
They teach their children to play and play is valuable in teaching children to control their emotions and to deal with personal problems. While there are many activities such as little league ball, hunting, fishing, computer games, and family cook outs, the real value of an event is child rearing through family companionship.
They teach their children to be caring because they are sensitive to the interests and concerns of others and are often called upon to respond to them. For example they are expected to honor birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. My wife has never forgotten the time one of our sons and his son came in from a walk across the field and each was carrying a handful of summer wild flowers. Our grandson asked, "Are these for mother?". and his father explained, "Yours are for your mother and mine are for my mother".
They teach their children to be efficient in such challenging studies as science and mathematics. The reason for this was not explained in the report but it seems logical that children in a family that is secure are emotionally free enough to function efficiently. On the other hand the chronic stress of an unhappy home drains much of a child's energy and seriously reduces learning ability.
To build a nation that is kinder and gentler we must learn to appreciate the importance of the father. Because the presence of fathers contributes so much it is clear that better ways must be found to keep the family together.
Jesus emphasized our responsibility to children in Matthew 18:5. "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whosoever causes one of these little ones to sin; it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and be drowned in the depth of the sea."
Father's Day is the special day in which the entire nations says to its fathers "Thank you for all the important contributions you are making."
©Copyright 1997 Dr. Stanley Watson and VideComp, Inc.
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"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace..." Isaiah 52:7.