Considering the fact that over half the marriages in the country end in divorce we wondered what could be done to improve the situation. Because of the terrible family crisis in America the media is full of information on what went wrong and what to do about it. Some of the "solutions" have merit and many do not. Very little is offered that will guarantee a lasting and happy relationship.
MORE MONEY:Some have said that , since most couples fight about money a good income would make them happier. In my opinion more money would not bring satisfaction to a dissatisfied couple. Better management would certainly help but the truth is that many miserable couples live in expensive mansions and many poor families enjoy their family life to the fullest.
BETTER LOVE LIFE: Since unhappy couples generally rate sex as a major problem the idea is offered that better sex practices would greatly increase their happiness. No doubt most couples could improve their love making but it would not get at the root cause of their dissatisfaction. The problem of poor communication must be resolved first.
Others suggest that families should attend church more often and ask blessings at meal time. This would certainly enrich lives and improve interpersonal relationships.
These ideas are helpful but most husbands and wives need more specific help. The following letter to a couple whose marriage was in trouble will illustrate the point. My advice to them will work with any couple who is serious enough to carry it out. This assignment doesn't cost any money but calls for a great deal of effort. The result is worth the effort because it will greatly reduce conflict and increase marital satisfaction.
Dear Bill and Carol:
In your letter you reminded me, I once said " The key to a happy marriage is very simple and easy to learn. " True, I did say that the rules for a happy relationship are so simple that most people seem to overlook them. But if you remember, I also said that they are very difficult to practice. Easy to learn, hard to practice. To illustrate, let me give you two an assignment and see how much trouble you have in doing it . If you do it right you will have learned the key to creating a happy home.
This may sound too simple to be effective, too easy to work. Actually it is not even something you should do but simply something you must stop doing. Please do not try it unless you are serious because, I warn you, it will be harder than you could have imagined. So, if you are ready, here is the assignment:
STOP CRITICIZING EACH OTHER FOR ONE FULL WEEK! For seven days you will accept everything your mate does without offering a word of criticism , caution, or rebuke whether it be table manners, drinking, gambling, working or not working, snoring, housekeeping or not housekeeping, shopping, driving, or talking on the telephone.
You must not blame your mate for friends they see, loafing around, or for criticizing you or the children. You must instead start listening and responding in a calm, reasonable voice. This works because a person is not changed by criticism but by being accepted as they are by people who are important to them.
Happy couples are neither more moral nor intelligent than unhappy ones. They simply learn how to be supportive each other. You don't have to have more money or superior skills at love making to have a happy home. If you are willing to practice this experiment until it becomes a habit you will change your marriage relationship dramatically. I wouldn't be surprised if in the process you might even increase your income and notice a big improvement in your love life.
One thing is sure, you will have a happier home life. Try it and let us know how you come out.
Sincerely;