You can miss out on a lot of things and still have a good life but the one thing you don't want to miss is true love. Everybody knows that the foundation of a good marriage is love. As young couples consider marriage they ask "Are we truly in love?" and "Is our love strong enough to last?" The answer to both questions depends upon the couple's understanding of love. In the confused world of today many mistake physical attraction and romance for real love.
This confusion has been promoted by television, movies, novels, and songs but we are aware that romantic love by itself is not a good foundation for marriage. It would be a good idea for any couple to examine the difference between love and romance.
Since true love has all the advantages with no weaknesses why is it not more popular than romantic love? The answer, no doubt, is because genuine love takes a lot of effort while romantic love takes no effort at all. You just go with the flow and do what come naturally.
How do you find genuine love?
The only way to develop a true love relationship is to let your own personal interests take second place to the needs of your loved one.
Stop fantasizing about the things that could make you happy. Instead, start supporting the efforts of your fiance or your spouse as they pursue their interests.
If you start practicing this simple principle and do it long enough you will discover the nature of real love. Also, you need not be surprised if romance appears because, in fact, a healthy romantic love can only flourish and grow in the presence of true love. Remember this: love is a state we achieve and not something that simply happens to us.
In most cases your efforts will be rewarded beyond your wildest expectations. In some instances, however, even your best efforts will fail. For example, Betty gave her full love and attention to Jim but got almost nothing in return. She finally gave up any hope that her husband would ever achieve a love relationship because he was either unable or unwilling to lay aside his self-interests in order to do so. As a result he lost his wife, and was forced to settle for twice-a-month visits from his two little daughters.
Unfortunately, people like Jim will never find true love because they only receive from others but never give back. These individuals would not consider changing their self-centeredness even for a genuine love relationship. The only way they can find love is to respond to the love of God by accepting His presence in their lives. Just as the hard core alcoholic or drug addict finds sobriety only by accepting the Lord, so must the self-centered person experience a love relationship with God before he or she can love another person.
Although real love calls for a great deal of time and patience the goal is far greater then the effort. In a beautiful anthem of praise the Apostle Paul described true love as the greatest thing in the world. He ends his song with these words:
"Now abides faith, hope, and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love" 1Corinthians 13:13