Let's examine a few pebbles in the shoe. Some might even become a hill of fire ants that could break up a family:
The shame of the hat on the mantle. I witnessed this in a home when the husband laid his hat on the mantle. His gentle Christian wife turned red in the face grabbed it away and muttered a few well-chosen uncharitable comments. I got the impression this scene had happened many times before.
The unhandy basket of greenery that hangs in front of the window near the shower. The husband complains that he sometimes gets the plant tangled in his towel when he dries himself off.
The case of the disappearing bread knife where the wife reminds her husband to put the bread knife in the rack instead of leaving it with the sharp blade up on the table top. The next time he wants to slice some of his delicious home baked bread it cools while he searches through his wife's several hiding places until he finds his knife..
Oh yes, the dirty laundry dispute. If you don't recognize this one you might send off to Washington for one of the millions of government pamphlets on regulations for for daily living. A simpler method would be to leave a trail of dirty socks, underwear, shirt, and pants from the family room to the bathroom and wait a few minutes.
There are no marriages that are totally free of irritations. We cannot always agree on how we eat our food, the way we sit, stand or comb our hair, the way we drive, the brands of groceries we buy, where we bank, go to church, or vote. This only means that we are all unique individuals who experience things differently. Naturally other family members impose upon us and we impose upon them. This is simply a fact of family life. It is only when we respect our differences that we communicate.
The liberal pro-divorce society in which we live teaches that if you feel imposed upon you are free to leave. Get a divorce. Such a "solution" can only result in a lifetime of chronic wounds. Of course there are cases that are intolerable such as child or spouse abuse, drug addictions, and sex addictions that destroy families. On the other hand we see basically sound families torn apart because of a few pebbles in the shoe.
A far better way is to relax and enjoy the pleasure of your mate and children. How? By respecting each family member where he/she is. Why does this work? Because the only time a person can change is when he or she is accepted as he is. Acceptance produces respect and the result is healthy growth. If you want good relationships with others you must accept and respect them. When you truly accept another person you are using the most powerful tool in the world because, at that moment, your attitude is what the Bible calls LOVE.
The practice of respecting others ought to begin with your own family members. The result is that when you care for others they care for you in and everybody wins. The answer to a pebble in the shoe, a burr under the saddle, or even a hill of fire ants is good communication. Not simply talking but HOW WE TALK. Our next article is titled GUIDELINES FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION IN THE FAMILY. If you are willing to practice them they will smooth the rough edges in family relationships.
A point to ponder by Edger Guest: "To keep your marriage brimming with joy in the loving cup, when you are wrong admit it and when you are right shut up!"