The second most important decision is the choice of a life's mate. Many young people are afraid to marry because the problem of broken homes has greatly increased in this generation. No doubt we need to examine the changes in values that have come about. Something has gone seriously wrong to create such havoc in the families of our nation.
Certainly young people need to be better prepared for marriage. For other generations there seems to have been a better way of looking at life in general and marriages in particular. As a result the vast majority of the marriages of yesterday lasted a lifetime. These are the standards that built this nation:
Take the matter of personal appearance. Good looks has always been appreciated but it has never held center stage as it does today. A good personality and character were more important.
Morals and a clean life style were essential in other days. An adulterous sex history that seems acceptable today would have seriously damaged a persons chances for a good marriage in any other generation.
Romantic love is traditional in choosing a mate but only in this generation has it been the most important factor. Friendship and compatibility have been equally significant.
The idea of self-centeredness as a virtue was foreign to other generations. They believed in the Christian principle of loving and caring for others even when it caused inconvenience or called for personal sacrifice.
The elaborate weddings that are common today were rarely seen by our forebears. Even modest formal weddings were not frequent. The emphasis was not on the wedding but on the quality of the marriage.
In fact, in any other day marriage was not an option, it was necessary. To live together without exchanging the vows before an official, preferably a minister, was considered immoral.
Here are the guidelines for the kind of marriages that succeeded in our nations history and still work today for those couples who are willing to go against the current tide:
You have strong allies in your effort to build a good home. Regular participation in a church can stabilize a family. Many churches enjoy a rich fellowship of believers and offer many opportunities to join in the worship of God. Look for a pastor and leaders who are caring and mature in their own faith. Also of great value is the example and counsel of couples who are successful in their marriages.
A final source of help are Christian counselors such as Marriage and Family Therapists, Social Workers, and pastors who are trained in counseling. Make sure that your counselor shares your moral and spiritual values and, more importantly, that he or she lives by them.
If you and your fiance can accept the time tested standards that produced the families that built our nation you would do well. This would require you to commit yourselves to one another "from this time forward, for better or for worse, until death alone shall part you." If you do this you will create the best opportunity possible to enjoy the love, respect, and appreciation of your children and your grandchildren.